Student Debt Solution

student hunger games

Death beats debt deferment.

The year is 2015 and after a terrible  economic collapse we’ve reverted to back to an agriculturally based society.

Food is scarce.

Technology is gone.

Everyone eats squirrel.

The aristocratic governors of our dystopian society decided to hold a semi annual Student Hunger Game! All of the districts sends in 2 college students as retribution for the economic collapse they created. All of the students must might each other to the death in football stadium. The student left standing has their college debt waved.


Best 5 things I could do for my career:

  1. Get called a slut by Rush Limbaugh.
  2. Have my smart phone hacked and private videos and/or photos are “leaked.”
  3. Release a track with Lil’ Wanye
  4. Create a quasi-fashionable shoe line.
  5. Die.
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Public Humliation

You can't afford me.

Tear are streaming from my face. I can feel the snot coming too. It’s pouring out of my nose slowly. I quickly wipe it away from my nose. I panic and keep wiping my face. My hands are soaked. Great, I think to myself, now I have to touch the key pad. The cashier darts her eyes away from me.

“That will be $98.52,” she mummers. My wet fingers key in my pin code. Denied. Try again. Try again. Just once more.

“Is there another card you can use,” she shifts uncomfortably. I turn away and power walk to the bathroom. Crying. I mean sobbing, almost comically so. Sounds and all.

The reason for my public humiliation: birth control. My insurance company, my doctors office, and pharmacy have all played the mean kind of mind games used for psychological warfare. One person tells me one thing, while the other says they’ve done their part, and another is simply clueless. Sounds kind of like Congress right now during our current bithcontrol debate.

I can make every argument that’s already been made: this is misogynistic, antiquated, etc, etc. But I can’t understand why men in congress are so against my use of birth control. It’s financially killing me to pay about a 100 a month. Emotionally, killing me at least. Don’t they have wives, sisters, and mistresses? What the hell do they use to keep from getting knocked up? What’s going on inside their heads?

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When did you realize that you suck?

Sleigh Bells being cool.

Sleigh Bells being cool.

I’m 25 and I just realized right this moment that I suck. I’m thinking about my evening, about how happy I’ll be to make dinner, play with my pet rabbit, and get to bed around 9:30, maybe 10. The thing is, eletro-noise-awesomley-hip-pop duo Sleigh Bells is coming into town tonight. On a Tuesday night. On a work night. And to make things more hip (or worse), Diplo is one of the opening acts. It’s hit me like a bad case of indigestion, I’m officially boring. I would rather stay home and do the aforementioned rather then going out, getting crazy, and generally acting a like a hip, cool, young adult.It’s just not worth the mental anguish (and the light vomiting) in the morning to get myself out of bed and into work. I will not be wearing my hip asymmetrical see through top with acid wash jeggings and vintage style lace up boots. I will be laying in bed, wearing pimple cream on my face watching episodes of Modern Family. I’m okay with this. I think.

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99 problems

That'll do pig, That'll do.

If you having girl problems I feel bad for you Newt, I got 99 problems but the election ain’t one.

Reason why this election will be so easy for Mr. Obama:

  1. Historically speaking, generally most presidents serve two terms.
  2.  Newt has a fat face and hypocrisy is his 2nd language.
  3. Nobody likes Mitt Romney.
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